Loving my Man while carrying a Baby

John is a wonderful husband! I am constantly discovering priceless qualities in this incredible man I get to share my life with. But with pregnancy, and all the changes, and nausea, and tiredness, it can be very easy for me to develop temporary amnesia and forget what a blessing he truly is.

Because of my need for extra rest I have a lot more time to read. I was so happy to re-discover Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes (one of the best thrift store purchase I've made!) I found this list under the heading of Twenty-Five Ways to Show Respect:

1. Do not talk down to him.
2. Do not talk badly about him to others.
3. Do not check behind him to make sure he did something to your standards.
4. Do not disregard his wishes.
5. Do not ignore his requests.
6. Do not laugh at his mistakes.
7. Do not make him the brunt of your jokes.
8. Do not compare him to other men.
9. Do not complain about your finances or his abilities as a provider.
10. Do not speak sarcastically or with verbal jabs.
11. Do not roll your eyes when he makes a comment you do not agree with.
12. Do not continually "have a better idea."

Instead:

1. Talk with him in a pleasant tone.
2. Speak highly or compliment him in front of others.
3. Allow him to do tasks his own way and then thank him when he is finished.
4. Value his opinions
5. Support his decisions.
6. Try to fulfill his requests.
7. Thank him for providing for your family
8. Allow him to make the final decisions
9. Support him is his decisions, regardless of the outcome
10. Avoid the words, "I told you so."
11. Take care of your appearance.
12. Ask his opinions about your clothes and hairstyle.
13. Tell him you are proud of him.

A Midwife's Memoir

I really enjoyed reading Labor of Love by Cara Muhlhahn. Cara is a certified nurse midwife who was highlighted in The Business of Being Born--a documentary about home birth that I have not seen (yet!). Cara is an honest, open, and direct writer. She has very strong feelings against the traditional medical system, for a variety of reasons. Her passion to keep birth natural and relaxing as possible, is the driving force behind her work. Cara's gentle and caring heart for the mother's she assists shines throughout the book. I read it before I knew I was pregnant. Now the book is due at the library but I am looking forward to checking it out again.

"Here's what a typical home visit is like. Marina, a patient who lives in Howard Beach, Queens, is in her first trimester with her fifth child. Marina has been looking forward to our visit. It is not our first time working together; I've already delivered three of her four kids, and I'm about to deliver another one for her...

I knock on the door of her basement apartment. When I enter, Marina is teaching the kids at the kitchen table. She homeschools them. I get to see all the girls. How they have grown since the last time I've seen them--it's been over a year, maybe two! But I saw Marina more recently, as she had assisted at the birth of a woman from her church. I love seeing her, and she is just as happy to see me.

Marina loves being pregnant, and I enjoy her glow. Before we officially start the prenantal visit, though, her daughters treat me to a little show-and-tell. There's a princess costume, a book, and review of the play they put on last week. I am their special guest. The girls scramble for the floor to give all of the important news to me. I sit on the floor with them. I'm not really a chair person. I have to greet the cat, too, although he's definitely not taking to my presence as well as the girls are.

We planned this particular visit for a time when Valnn, Marina's husband could be present... It's like a big reunion...

When it is time to listen to the heartbeat, we try with the fetoscope. Even though books and teachers will say that the fetal heartbeat can't be heard with the fetoscope before 20 weeks, I have heard it as early as 15. Marina would prefer not to expose the baby to an unnecessary ultrasound.

We can heart it! It is very faint, so we turn down the radio, and the kids have to stay very, very still, waiting their turn to listen. It's thrilling to witness their excitement. Some of them hear it; some do not. Marina and Valnn do. It's interesting: Even with all the proof--a missed period, a positive pregnancy test, nausea, fatigue--so many woman remain uncertain that the pregnancy is a reality until the first time they hear the heartbeat."

an excerpt from Labor of Love

Delighted to be Pregnant

"Nothing compares to the excitement I felt when I missed a period. I had all the signs: breast tenderness and frequent urination. By Day 27, my period still hadn't arrived. My cycle was typically short, around 25 days. Sure enough, I was pregnant.

I loved every part of being pregnant. At 37, I initially felt old for a first-timer, but that didn't detract from my joy or make me worried in any way. I was so ecstatically, unbelievably happy that I was having my first baby. Because I had helped so many woman through their pregnancies, I thought I would know what to expect at every turn. I looked forward to everything, even the nausea. Until it actually hit at Week 5.

Fortunately, as often happens with women carrying boys, the nausea was short-lived. For three weeks, I ate lemon pops and sniffed peppermint teabags for minor relief. I also had the "bionic nose" pregnant women are famous for. In New York City, there are few places a pregnant woman can walk without feeling an aversion to breathing. It also led to some socially awkward situations. One time, I insisted on sending a steak back in a favorite French restaurant in the East Village, even though none of the friends I was with could smell anything wrong with it."

an excerpt from Labor of Love by Cara Muhlhahn

Week 5

This is it! The day I graduate from Week 4 to Week 5! There is a certain amount of intimidation to week 5 since it seems all pregnancy symptoms are supposed to get worse until a slight improvement at week 12. The times I have felt pregnant have actually been something re-assuring vs. a pain to put up with. I am so happy to be pregnant! I have heard and read that if you are really sick, it is a sign the baby is doing well. Having lost a baby through miscarriage, every good sign is a blessing!

So our baby's developement for week 5:
-Our baby is the size of a sesame seed!
-Tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood
-Placenta and umbilical cord are starting to develop
-Central nervous system (brain and spinal cord), and muscle and bone formation are beginning to take shape.
-Our baby's skeleton is starting to form

Sources:
Your Pregnancy Week by Week by Glade B. Curtis and Judith Schuler
www.babycenter.com

Got Gas?

This made me laugh out loud! John has been quite shocked by my new outpouring of fluffs...

"Frankly put, there are no words to describe the potency and shockingly far-reaching residue of a blue-ribbon pregnancy fart. If you've got the kind of relationship with your [husband] where the occasional game of Dutch Oven is well received, I promise you that during the course of pregnancy, more than one of your emissions with make you the reigning champion--for life. Alternately, if you are the more modest sort who'd rather sneak out of bed and into the bathroom for private relief, you'd better get over it quickly. If your experience is anything like mine, there will be episodes that make you wonder whether your houseplants or neighbors will survive your latest emission, never mind the person lying next to you.

But there's more to three trimesters of toots than impressive tambour and nose hair-singing aroma. It's called pain. During pregnancy, your body has higher levels of progesterone, a hormone that relaxes your body's smooth muscle tissues, including your gastrointestinal track. This relaxation slows your digestive system and can consequently produce enough gas to make you feel as though you're a walking bottle of soda pop--complete with seriously uncomfortable bloating, disabling gas-related cramps, fierce flatulence, excessive burping, and loud gurgles that bubble up into your throat or force their way out the other direction.

You may not be able to completely silence your backside--or very vocal throat or tummy-- but you can muffle the madness with the following ideas. Oh, and by the way, this is one instance where the pregnancy stuffy nose really comes in handy.

Identify tummy triggers and avoid them: Learn which foods may aid in tear-inducing gas and limit their intake, especially when you know you're not going to be in the right physical or mental space to air things out. (Trust me, during a company meeting is not the time to discover that filling up on garlicky hummus could inspire your backside to spontaneously trumpet with the gusto of jazz great Louis Armstrong--and be accompanied by aromas that can clear the room faster than a four-alarm fire.) Instigators vary for each person, but notably fart-friendly foods include beans, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, dairy products (for those who have trouble digesting them), garlic, fried foods, onions, and not surprisingly, carbonated drinks.

Practice proper food combining: eat high-starch foods (pasta, potatoes, rice) with low starch foods (broccoli, peas, celery, green beans, tomatoes and eat high-protein foods (meats, beans, seafood, dairy) with low-starch foods. In other words, don't combine high-starch foods with high-protein foods. It's also a good idea to avoid combining fruit with high-starch or protein foods too.

Don't eat big meals: ...snack on six smaller meals throughout the day.

Eat slowly: [so as to not gulp air]

Chew your food: ...chewing food will makes food breakdown and digestion easier on your body. It will also help counter constipation.

Don't drink a lot during meals: ...drink a little bit with meals, more in between.

Eat sitting upright: ...when gas is bubbling up it's best if you let gravity help what goes down stay down.

Eat long before bed: [gravity]

Wear comfy clothing: ...especially when you eat.

Exercise: ...can help speed digestion, calm your head, and limit the opportunity for gas to bubble up.

a partial excerpt from: The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy by Erika Lenkert

I hope I get my brain back

Week 4, day 4

I realize I have something in my teeth right before making a phone call. I hold the toothpick to my ear and begin to insert my phone in my mouth. John sees my confused state and gives me a slightly baffled but amused look. I realize what I'm doing with an embarrassed laugh.

John and I head to town to refund bottles. I arrive with a full bladder. After narrowly missing the MENS ROOM, I find the right door. On my way out, I am confused how to get back to the store. I walk around with a dopey look but eventually make it out.

Strange things come out of my mouth all weekend. Words I think turn into something else when I speak. How strange! I read in a pregnancy book how the author (claiming to be a very responsible person before pregnancy) Lost her credit card--for the first time ever--twice in one week. I find hope that this new forgetfulness is a "temporary situation--one that isn't even likely to last all three trimesters." May it be!

The Begining

Last Thursday, January 21, I received confirmation of a most wonderful gift: John and I are parents! My dollar store pregnancy test worked once again to confirm that we have someone Very Special growing in my womb. We are excited, ecstatic, overwhelmed, overjoyed, shocked, and so very pleased. It is still hard to grasp the reality of it all, despite my overwhelming tiredness and need to eat 24/7! My due date is October 4: a date I keep in mind so I have an answer when people ask, but try not to cling to, since I know our baby could arrive earlier or later.

There is a small shadow in our happiness. This is not my first pregnancy. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at my 10th week so we know how fragile everything is. God has brought so much hope and healing, some of which I posted on my Babies for Heaven blog.

So, the journey begins!