Got Gas?

This made me laugh out loud! John has been quite shocked by my new outpouring of fluffs...

"Frankly put, there are no words to describe the potency and shockingly far-reaching residue of a blue-ribbon pregnancy fart. If you've got the kind of relationship with your [husband] where the occasional game of Dutch Oven is well received, I promise you that during the course of pregnancy, more than one of your emissions with make you the reigning champion--for life. Alternately, if you are the more modest sort who'd rather sneak out of bed and into the bathroom for private relief, you'd better get over it quickly. If your experience is anything like mine, there will be episodes that make you wonder whether your houseplants or neighbors will survive your latest emission, never mind the person lying next to you.

But there's more to three trimesters of toots than impressive tambour and nose hair-singing aroma. It's called pain. During pregnancy, your body has higher levels of progesterone, a hormone that relaxes your body's smooth muscle tissues, including your gastrointestinal track. This relaxation slows your digestive system and can consequently produce enough gas to make you feel as though you're a walking bottle of soda pop--complete with seriously uncomfortable bloating, disabling gas-related cramps, fierce flatulence, excessive burping, and loud gurgles that bubble up into your throat or force their way out the other direction.

You may not be able to completely silence your backside--or very vocal throat or tummy-- but you can muffle the madness with the following ideas. Oh, and by the way, this is one instance where the pregnancy stuffy nose really comes in handy.

Identify tummy triggers and avoid them: Learn which foods may aid in tear-inducing gas and limit their intake, especially when you know you're not going to be in the right physical or mental space to air things out. (Trust me, during a company meeting is not the time to discover that filling up on garlicky hummus could inspire your backside to spontaneously trumpet with the gusto of jazz great Louis Armstrong--and be accompanied by aromas that can clear the room faster than a four-alarm fire.) Instigators vary for each person, but notably fart-friendly foods include beans, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, dairy products (for those who have trouble digesting them), garlic, fried foods, onions, and not surprisingly, carbonated drinks.

Practice proper food combining: eat high-starch foods (pasta, potatoes, rice) with low starch foods (broccoli, peas, celery, green beans, tomatoes and eat high-protein foods (meats, beans, seafood, dairy) with low-starch foods. In other words, don't combine high-starch foods with high-protein foods. It's also a good idea to avoid combining fruit with high-starch or protein foods too.

Don't eat big meals: ...snack on six smaller meals throughout the day.

Eat slowly: [so as to not gulp air]

Chew your food: ...chewing food will makes food breakdown and digestion easier on your body. It will also help counter constipation.

Don't drink a lot during meals: ...drink a little bit with meals, more in between.

Eat sitting upright: ...when gas is bubbling up it's best if you let gravity help what goes down stay down.

Eat long before bed: [gravity]

Wear comfy clothing: ...especially when you eat.

Exercise: ...can help speed digestion, calm your head, and limit the opportunity for gas to bubble up.

a partial excerpt from: The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy by Erika Lenkert